Dear friend,
I'm writing to you from the other side.
I see you. I hear you. I know where you are. I am praying for you.
I want to dedicate my first blog since 2018 to the people who are struggling right now. While there's a lot of hype around 2023 goal planning, what God promises to do this year, and all of the other beautiful things, I know that some people are just trying to survive.
I know how it feels to barely catch my breath with the sun's rise each morning. I know what it's like to ask God, "will this be the day for my breakthrough?" and He says nothing. I know how it feels to hope beyond hope and still feel disappointed. Lonely. Heartbroken. Struggling.
Many don't know that from August 2021-December 2022, I was in a perpetual state of grief. In 2021, I obeyed my way into a 16-month storm. It shocked me. It rocked my faith. It stripped me of everything I thought was true about the world, myself, God, family, and even my friends. For the last 16 months, I've been in a state of (re)building, and you've likely witnessed some of it. You may've seen me smiling and jumping in and out of clothes on IG. You even may've watched me slowly but surely move higher in the TikTok algorithm. But you may not have known how desperate I was to have internal peace for just one day. For 16 months, I had no peace. Some days were better than others, but the dulling pain of grief and confusion threatened to steal my future.
While I wish the season would have changed with the beginning of a calendar year, it was more complex. Seasons don't adhere to natural calendar dates. Sometimes seasons last weeks, months, or even years. I call those the quiet times because to survive, you have to go internal. You must learn to locate yourself and ensure that you're connected to your lifeline, God--even when you're mad at Him. You have to learn to withstand the winds and the waves. You have to keep pressing. You're only responsible for the day.
I wish I could tell you when your hard season will be over, but I cannot. However, I can assure you that if you continue to put one foot in front of the other, you'll make it to the other side. I'm writing this blog to you because I know this is true.
Take a deep breath.
Cry if you need to.
But understand that seasons pass.
If you need encouragement, I have a video that I want you to watch as many times as necessary. In it, I share transparently about my experiences with grief and what helped me survive.
As always, I'm praying for you.
-B