I wish that I had learned about the power of my words in a good way, but that wouldn't make a good story. Truthfully, I learned about my power in one of the most devastating ways and never forgot the lesson.
Let me take you back to 2021, when life was good. My crypto portfolio was up, my investments were printing money, I was securing brand deals, and I was stepping into financial security. That year, I was also moving from one apartment to another that had more space and natural light. I love natural light.
Anywho, life was good. I literally had no complaints. At the same time, I was rekindling with a longterm friend of mine. While he and I met on a dating app four years prior, I friend-zoned him, so we remained friends. I must admit that during our friendship, we had ups and downs, as two strong-minded people do. Nevertheless, we maintained our long-distance friendship until, one day, I woke up with an unusual desire.
In December 2020, I remember laying on my couch asking God to open my eyes to any man that I was overlooking. At the beginning of 2020, I found out that a guy that I had been dating for 6 months had slept with another woman. So, since that relationship was short-lived and I had spent some time in therapy, doing the hard emotional work, I felt ready to date again. My request to God was a result of that readiness.
Fast forward to either January or February of 2021. One day, I randomly woke up with a romantic affection toward my friend. I didn't say anything about it for a few days, but then I made the call. It's funny now that I think about it because my voice shook the entire conversation. In grace, he told me that he wanted to chat about it later that evening, which we did.
During the evening conversation, we discussed the potential risks, benefits, and outcomes of entering a relationship. In fact, we discussed it over a matter of weeks, and then there came a point where we stopped talking about it. I fell back, and about 2-3 weeks later, we had another conversation on Mother's Day weekend. This chat was different. We spoke for about 10 hours as he was driving home from visiting his mom. We agreed that he would fly out to Vegas to help me move into my new place that July. We had so many plans...
In July, he came out to Vegas and asked me to be his woman with a Tiffany necklace, and I cried. If you haven't noticed, I'm a cryer lol. Anywho, it was beautiful. I was in a relationship with my friend. We knew each other. We trusted one another. We were already talking about the potential for marriage.
But something went terribly wrong the next day.
We fought horribly for the time he was in Vegas. Every day, we were into it with each other. We tried to get on the same page for three weeks, but it never happened. A three-week relationship ended a 4-year friendship, and it devastated me. Unbeknownst to either of us, we couldn't work for some reason. While it should have worked, it didn't, and the aftermath was ugly.
We were now friends, turning into enemies who loved one another. We were no longer engulfed in the belly-aching laughs, deep admiration, and care. We were opponents who were hellbent on defending ourselves against one another. We didn't recognize ourselves.
How did we get here?
When the dust finally settled and the smoke cleared months later, Holy Spirit brought a single declaration back to my remembrance. When my former friend and I first met, I said, "We'd never work in a relationship." I also remember saying that to him one time, too. While I had valid reasons to support my statement, that statement had life, and it lived in the atmosphere until it had an opportunity to land.
Essentially, it didn't matter that I now wanted the relationship to work. It didn't matter that we both desired to be with one another. I spoke the reality into existence and didn't cancel the statement because I forgot that I had even said it.
Long story short, the Bible is clear that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words" Proverbs 18:21 (AMP). Unfortunately, there's no way around it. Unfortunately, I didn't know what was working against my friend and I's relationship, and when I finally figured it out, it was too late.
Not only did I lose out on a potentially fruitful relationship, I lost my friend.
Don't be like me.
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