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Writer's picturePam Orata

Traumatized By The Process

Updated: Aug 19


a young lady with curly lady wondering what's going on

Abraham is lauded for his great faith and for passing the daunting test of sacrificing the very promise He had waited on God for 25 years (Genesis 22, Hebrews 11: 8-22) We marvel at the Lord’s mighty and powerful hand which rescued Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from King Nebuchadnezzar’s fiery furnace when they were punished for refusing to dishonor Yahweh by worshipping an idol (Daniel 3:16-28)


We're astonished at how the angel of the Lord shut the lions’ mouths. It almost seems like a lie that Daniel was chilling with lions like they were his pets, yet he was punished for disobeying King Darius’ orders (Daniel 6). Side note: Where I’m from you don't chill with a lion, it’s absurd!! You either run for your life and pray that you make it unscathed or accept your fate as the lion’s dinner.


Joshua is credited for his determination to fulfill the charge the Lord gave him to lead the Israelites into the promised land (Joshua 1) Joseph is the classic example of ‘sleeping one way and waking up another” because his status changed from prisoner to Egypt’s second in command.


When Jesus was on Mount Olives praying, He was in anguish because He felt that the suffering He was about to bear was too extreme- so much so that He was sweating blood as He was praying. Nonetheless, He was submitted to His Father’s will.


There's a flip side to the Lord’s transformation process as He makes you become what He said You'll be. This is the fine print He'll never tell you about. These are things you'll only find out about when you step out in faith and are walking.These things evoke human emotions of confusion, feeling duped, distress and humiliation- almost as if following Jesus is a lie and a scam.


Imagine what the months after passing the test were like for Abraham. I'm sure Isaac was deader than dead to his father. Of course, he didn't treat Isaac like he was nonexistent because we read of the things he did and taught him as his father but Abraham was a dead father walking. 


Joshua must have been so disappointed and disillusioned at having to wait another 40 years to step into the promised land because of the unbelief and disobedience of others. He'd already seen the good of the land and even eaten some of its fat grapes but now again the promise was in the distant future.


Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego must have had a couple of horrible flashbacks after

the fiery furnace. They must have been somewhat shocked that they didn't burn because they were so ready to die. In fact, in their minds, they were already dead. The sight and smell of the flesh of the men who got burnt as they threw them into the fiery furnace must have done a number on them.


Joseph must have wondered why there was no positive news each time he spoke to his attorney about getting him exonerated from the false accusations leveled against him by Potiphar’s wife. Despite being the prison warden’s favorite, he must have wondered when the Lord would answer his prayer for justice. He must have also been offended when the chief cup-bearer forgot to put in a good word for him immediately after he gained his freedom.


I wonder how Daniel slept for the next few weeks after almost being the lions’ dinner, thanks to some haters. Whereas he was grateful that the Lord was indeed faithful to turn around the conspiracy for his good and was treated well by the kings, that situation must have made him people-wary.




I'm sure whenever each of these people sat down to reflect on these significant events that marked their lives, they must have wondered at some point if the Lord needed to test them in such an extreme manner - even though they had history with Him.


Recently, I've found myself in a funk and I couldn’t quite figure out what was wrong. Upon reflection, I realized that I haven't recovered from the trauma of my recent test. Yes, I passed with flying colors but here I am feeling duped and humiliated- so much so that I was struggling to pray. This week during my prayer time, I was transparent with the Holy Spirit and told Him that I felt like this kingdom life is a scam because I see no consistent evidence of its full benefits yet.All I've experienced so far is a sneak preview.


I also realized that I hadn't forgiven the Lord for the extremeness of the last test. Forgive the Lord you may ask. Yes. The Lord killed me and I haven’t fully recovered. I didn’t know dying at the altar would be this traumatizing. Whereas I'm walking out the path He has set before me, I'm weary and wary of the fine print I didn’t know about.


The human emotions I'm experiencing are real and there's no need to discount or gloss over them. I know that the Lord knew I would be in this very moment and He still called me and isn't offended by my honesty. Every day I cry out to Ebenezer to help, strengthen and have mercy on me. I also remind myself of who He is based on the history I have with Him. He has done marvelous, wonderful things in the past (Psalm 103:2) I also know this about the Lord, that He is not removed from my suffering and emotions as a human being (Hebrews 4:15-16


If you're in a similar season where you feel traumatized by the process of following the Lord, process your emotions with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to comfort you, even as we know that with time the Lord will make this make sense. He will work out all things together for our good, because we love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)



This month's offer bundle has been specifically curated to help you along the journey of forgiveness in whichever season. Good Cries guides you through the emotional release needed to leave old baggage behind, forget the trauma, and forgive God and yourself while Loving Boldly helps you build a strong foundation of self-love and faith.

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