Don’t RSVP To The Pity Party

A few nights ago, I had the most vivid dream: A woman I’ve never seen in waking life was completely hysterical and balling her eyes out in grief. The tremble in her voice penetrated realms. Although I was dreaming, I could feel her pain in the natural. She feebly approached me, grabbed both of my shoulders, and in between shaky exhales, she cried, “This is the 3rd

family member I’ve lost this month!” Maintaining her grip, she desperately looked into my eyes as if to plead for prayer. Not wasting another moment, I immediately began interceding on her behalf.

After about a minute and two quoted scriptures later, this previously distraught woman stopped crying, removed her hands from me, interrupted the prayer, and said, “OK, that’s enough.” Considering her state just moments prior, you can imagine my surprise at such a remark. However, I asked her to let me finish, and I quickly finished praying. Once we said amen, the dream ended.

When I woke up, the first thing I heard was Matthew 7:6: “Don’t cast your pearls before swine,” which means that you shouldn’t give your valuables to those who don’t truly appreciate them or can’t comprehend their worth.

As I reflected on the dream later that eve, I began considering how I had cast my pearls to swine. In a generation where everyone seemingly competes to be “a real one,” it’s easy to find yourself on the guest list for many pity parties. We even RSVP.

Here’s an acronym to clarify how people pleasers contribute to these pity parties and what we can do to stop. To withdraw our intentions of attendance, we must stop:

R—Reacting: We must stop responding emotionally to certain news. We should avoid it if at all possible and maintain self-control.

S - Sympathizing: Sympathy is the icing on the cake served at these pity parties, and it sure can spread it thick like Betty Crocker at times. But just as I was quick to pray for the lady in my dream, we must be quick to shake the dust from our feet when we’re not received.

V- Validating: It’s OK to show support when someone is experiencing unfavorable times. But be reminded, there’s a fine line between being supportive and being an enabler.

P- Pandering: This is the worst thing we can do when someone is wallowing in pity. Not only are we coming into agreement with their delusions, but at this point, we’ve also compromised our own standards.

Be aware that not everyone truly wants to be helped by God; some want to be seen by man. Test the spirit by the Holy Spirit, and according to your discernment, decide whether or not you’ll be bringng your gifts to another pity party.