L O V E that encourages towards God

Now that I'm back in the dating world I can't help but wonder how I did it before. Well not how I did it per se, but how I could be so comfortable previously with doing it wrong. Perhaps it was the culture that I was in that validated certain actions, or maybe it was the mindset that I adopted at the time. Whatever the case may be, what is true is that I was destructive and possibly hurt more people than I care to admit.

When we seek love, companionship, marriages and others, I wonder if we count the cost of such interactions. What I mean is that I wonder if we thought about what it might take to make a thing work, what actions we might have to abandon, what thought processes we may have to challenge. In this season of dating, I can't help but reflect on the previous error of my ways.

I think about the times that I recklessly allowed people into my life, my heart. The moments that I cared less about the circumstance but more about the instant gratification. I wonder about the bodies that I tracked into my soul because I wanted to feel something...anything.

When I took a year off of dating, I didn't know that I would come back with new eyes. I didn't know that I would change. My desires would change. My heart would change. I thought that I was taking a break because I was tired. I was overwhelmingly tired, and didn't know how to rejuvenate myself.

Now that I'm back in the dating world of getting to know people, measuring their capacities, or the lack thereof, I desire a love that encourages me towards God. A love that challenges me to be holy and upright. A love that won't let me settle for the status quo. I believe in the love that wants me to grow in God, and not ridicule me for my convictions. The love that is sustainable because it is blessed by God. I believe in purity. Purity of thoughts, emotions, actions...